Thursday, March 03, 2005

Chain Letters

I've just been going through my inbox in yahoo and re-reading some of the stuff that's in it..most were correspondings from friends, family and classmates...a while lot of it were forwarded stuff- jokes, sentimental twaddle, sweet sad gooey stories...and a WHOLE LOTTA chain mail letters! Now whenever i see a chain letter in my inbox, my first impulse is to send mail to whomever had enough time to waste just to send that to me and countless other people (0-5 for bad luck, 6-10 for so-so luck etc..you know the drill) and disown them as my friend/acquiantance. The hell with you! I thought you were an intelilgent human being, intelligent enough to be added in my yahoo address book!! Looks like i was wrong. However, if i'm in a rather good mood (unless upon seeing the unread email puts me in a nasty mood) i usually give it a try and read it. Some are pretty good; they give good sound advice or tell beautifully written stories (good enough to print out and keep in the bathroom for future re-reading hehehe) but 99.9% is CRAP. I especially hate it when someone sends a chain letter that has been fowarded a billion times to a trillion people and you have scrollllllllllllllllllllllllllll alllll the wayyy downnn. Plus the fact that most of them vile things (they really sould be considered as vile as Spam) usually try to give you good luck and then after reading the whole passage, threaten you with bad luck unless you send it to so-many people; the more people you send it to, the better your luck will be.

Don't get me wrong. I know the purpose of REAL chain letters. ( not the electronic mail ones, most of which are pathetically fake, the ones which genuinely want and DO help people in different ways) But how do you know which one is real when you see one? It kinda got me thinking (and researching) about them, and this is some info about chainletters that i came up with:

>Around 1900, chain letters were influenced by increasing literacy, international mail and postcards, and changing attitudes about religion and miracles. Also chain letters themselves accumulated new technologies of increasing replication.
>Until the 1970's most paper luck chain letters were copied by hand or typed. When photocopiers became more common there was some debate if one could use them for chain letters and still receive good luck. Almost every letter that has circulated since 1980 is a photocopy, included originally hand written ones. But late generation photocopies must eventually be retyped because of image degeneration
>Hand written letters are often difficult to read and thus many variations are introduced as the copier tries to guess what is written. With photocopying, after some 15 or so generations the text becomes wiggly, spotted and unreadable in places
>If the recipient takes the letter as a joke, its promises and threats have no power. (REALLY??? WOW, MOST PEOPLE MUST READ THIS PARTICULAR LINE)
>Most people send chain letters for the luck it promises to deliver, some because although they know they will gain nothing from it, they won't lose anything either (kinda like a 'wadda hell' attitude) but some send them due to fear (of whatever the chain letter claims to do to them). Here are some choice examples that threaten the poor reader:
>>>. . . and if he believes not this writing, and the commandments, I will send many plagues upon him, and consume both him and his children and his cattle, . . . [Letter of Jesus Christ, 1915, but text is hundreds of years old]
>>>M. Francesco Monthey, not having taken this letter seriously, saw his home ruined nine days after having received this letter. [Translation, France, 1928]
>>>One woman made fun of it and on the 13th day her daughter went blind. [U.S., postcard, 1941]
>>>Detective Segunda B. Villa now of the City of Baguio who laughed at this Chain of good luck, met instant death in accident on June 14th, 1948. [International, 1949.
>>>Don't make fun or laugh at this because something bad might happen to you or your family. [Philippine / U.S., 1984].

>The statement "this is no joke" first appeared on the Luck by Mail type in 1952 and was soon universal.
> Among its many variations, the concluding earliest phrase "It Works." postscript in the was mailed anonymously in May 1979 to an Oxnard, California address

In this section i will briefly explain the characteristic features of a chain letter and How it (handwritten, photocopied or electronic wise) usually (ahem) "works":
(1) Brevity. A widespread luck chain from 1905-17 had about 100 words and was usually distributed by handwritten postcards.
(2) Secularity. Luck chains originating in the 1900's dropped claims of divine authorship, delivery from heaven to earth, granting protection from fire or weapons, divine punishment for disbelief, and miracles generally. A Saint, missionary or military officer may be attributed as the author of the letter, but never Jesus. Promises of good luck and threats of bad luck exploited vague popular superstitions rather than naive piety.
(3) Copy quota. Chain letters state a minimum number of copies that the recipient is encouraged to distribute.
(4) Deadline. This task is to be completed within a stated period.
(5) Waiting period. According to most letters, one must wait a certain number of days before receiving good luck.
(6) Testimonials. All English language luck chain letters since the 1930's contain accounts of fortune and misfortune allegedly experienced by prior recipients of the letter. These testimonials are told in the third person, usually of a named individual.
(7) Circumnavigation. Almost all luck chains since 1910 have either (1) declared they are to go "all over" or around the world, or (2) claimed a certain number of completed circumnavigations.
(8) Lists. When someone signs their name on a chain letter, a recipient may faithfully copy this name. And another person may sign on, and both names may be copied. The growing list suggests to others that they in turn sign on. Thus chain letters often accumulated long lists of senders. (AND ANNOYINGLY BECOMES LONGER AND LONGER)

Of course, the best thing that can ever happend with a chain letter would be if someone (or preferrably everyone) breaks the chain and everyone lives happily ever after, without dying of plague or worry. Some advice: If you ever receive a chain mail letter (which is a 9/10 chance), ask yourself this: Will the person or people i am sending this to
a.) Butcher me using a blunt object
b.) Assemble a VooDoo doll having bits of my hair, toe clippings and other organic substances from my body/possessions
c.) Just give me the dedma thing Pinoys LOVE to do, or continue on pretending to be my friend

Sure, do send me chain letters especially if the content is really good. Just please PLEASE edit it first so that it is just a plain old email and not a plain old annoying email. I hope this and all the details about chain letters was as informative and interesting as it was a pleasure (and a therapy!) for me to type.

Tell at least 10 people to visit my blog or risk the following to happen to you:
-you die
-you fall through an open manhole and then you die (a stinky death)
-all your teeth will fall out of your head and you die.
-you will have permanent body odour that no amount of Rexona, Mum or AX deo can ever disguise and then you die (smellier and stinkier than if you were to die in a manhole
- you will be impotent forever (viagra will only make things worse) and die that way.

Nyahahaha

1 comment:

jenavictoria said...

hey! how are you?
i liked this blog about chain letters. mmm... my sentiments exactly.
i also liked the way you wrote it, and the ending was really good.
but you could try incorporating the enumerated facts into the text :)